Mother Earth and Father Star sang to me then and I was lulled into sleep. I dreamt of the forms I could take but all seemed too small or too weak for me. And then I remembered, in my dream, the giant fish that had torn my love apart. I would become that creature. I had seen my love enter that creature’s body and become a new child of the Earth. If I were to have a chance of meeting her on common ground then I must take that form also. Mother cradled me as I slept, her spirit embraced me and took me inside herself. I felt her will even as I slept, I felt her will taking my form and moulding it into that creature I wanted to become. I became afraid, afraid that I would not know how to live as this creature, unsure if I could rip another creature apart and feast upon its flesh. But I remembered again that vision of my love, her joyous rapture at beginning this cycle of life again. She had felt pain upon her death but she was soon free of it and soon sleeping the slumber of the unborn, regenerating her spirit as her new form grew about her. I relaxed into Mother’s embrace and allowed her will to form me.
I eventually awoke, I don’t know how long I slept, but I awoke in the waters of Mother’s womb. She sensed me awaken and with a gentle push she thrust me out in my new form out into the oceans that covered her, that formed her, that were the centre of her ability to procreate, that were in essence an extension of her spiritual womb. I moved through the waters with ease, my new skin tingling with the sensation of the water, I could feel, through my skin, other creatures close by, others like myself and others not like myself, some much smaller, some vastly bigger. The skin across my eyes separated and I could see, I swam around looking with my newborn eyes, tying in the information they were giving me to the information I was getting from my skin. I stopped swimming, briefly as it turns out, as I felt waves of nausea and dizziness over me when I was not moving which faded as I moved again and shook my head from side to side. The gills along the side of my, I suppose you would call it neck, seemed only to function fully when I moved. I accepted that I had to keep moving in order to breathe, accepted I needed to breathe to live, I was dependant on small amounts of air within water for my functioning as a living creature of flesh. I also came to realise that it was elements of earth that made up my body, elements of fire that made my nervous system function, passing signals from my brain to the rest of my body. It was complex to be a living creature, needing all the elements to exist, of course I was both water and spirit so I made the larger contribution to the body and indeed it was my spirit which controlled this body, I made it move, I was the origin of the signals in the brain that told my body what to do. Whilst I was asleep in the womb I had been getting information from the elements making up my body, feedback from the organ called the brain, I had a crash course in controlling the form, what I had to think about and what I could set to auto-pilot for the elements that made up the brain to disseminate information to the other organs of my body on the work they must do. All I had to think about was keeping moving, finding food and not becoming food… I thought this would give me plenty of time to think about searching for my love.
Years passed and I grew and grew in both size and experience. I was a feared creature by almost all, only my kind and larger than my kind held no fear. I had had battles with my kind, I had to dominate my territories, fight for new ones as I relinquished old ones as I continued searching the waters for my love. They had been tough battles and I carried scars as did my opponents, but we never killed each other so we did not fear, we just did what was necessary. It became known amongst my kind that I did not keep a hunting territory for long, I was always moving on to new ground. Word spread, if word is the right word, that it were easier to allow me to take a territory and to fight over the old one as there was always a fresh supply of hunting grounds in my wake. I took from each territory only enough to get me to the next so there was always plentiful supply of food. More years passed and I eventually had covered the entire ocean, or so I thought. I had changed the waters on the face of mother before but they had been changed again. I wondered what else had changed and decided to try for dry land. A foolish choice in hindsight. I ended up beached on a distant shore. This body would not survive if I could not get back to water and as the Earth’s sister travelled on her celestial path the waters receded and I was stranded, slowly drowning. I thought back over the life I had lived so far, saw how much time had passed and wondered what I had done with it all, why I had squandered it on meaningless pursuits. I had been this creature for so long and yet it felt so little, I needed more time, wanted more time. I drew my last breath and realised I had had plenty of time, I had learned much, had covered much water in my search, it was time to let go and move on to new hunting grounds.